As we go through the process of planning this wedding, and we’re doing more research, finding more things to consider booking and closely looking at our budget, checking whether or not we can make everything work for us… it gets to the point where you just need to stop and think about what you actually want from your wedding.
I mean, I’d say our wedding budget is pretty average, but, after going to wedding fairs and stuff, we can see how easy it is to spiral out of control when it comes to booking vendors. I’m not gonna lie and tell you that we’re not spending money unnecessarily, because, in all honesty, we are. We were shocked that booking our registrar was actually the cheapest thing on our list. …Isn’t that sick? Like, the legal part.. the only thing that really matters, is the cheapest thing to book. The rest is just a party. Unbelievable.
In saying that, we’re only doing this once, and it’s the only day we’re ever gonna have, so it has to be everything we want it to be.
But… we don’t just want a wedding. We want a marriage. We don’t wanna spend so much of our married life in debt, trying to pay off a huge bank loan for one day.. especially not when we’re still trying to save for a house, and we’ll be trying for a baby once we’re married.. it’s silly to spend an obscene amount of money on just one day of our lives. We’re gonna be no more or less married if we have a £2,000 wedding or a £20,000 wedding. We know what’s more important to us. And it’s definitely not a huge wedding.
I’m still set on not revealing much at all about our day, as we do want to keep as much of it as a surprise for our guests as we can, but, it’s not gonna be in a huge manor house, we’re not gonna be paying for a 3 course meal for 150 people and we definitely won’t be getting ourselves into stupid amounts of debt for a party.
We’ve seen some truly wonderful ideas recently, and they’re all awesome, and we’d love to have everything we’ve seen… but, we’re worried that there will be too much going on. We just want people to be there to celebrate our day with us. People will arrive, we’ll say our vows, we’ll listen to the speeches and we’ll party into the night. Nothing too fancy or extravagant.. just a whole lotta love.
And, really, when you think about it… what more could anyone ever want from their special day?
Weddings are an insanely expensive industry, and when it comes to budgeting, everyone’s priorities will be different. For some, the food and drink at weddings is hugely important and majority of the budget will be spent on taking care of the catering and possibly a free bar. For others, it’ll be arriving in a nice car, or spending lots of money on flower arrangements, entertainment or a beautiful honeymoon afterwards.
Sam has been incredibly efficient and has made us a budget spreadsheet, which is broken down into categories, so we can see what we’re spending, what deposits have been / need to be paid, how much is still left to pay, payment dates, etc.. but, it’s still not easy to keep a track of where all your money is going.. and it’s very easy to see something and get carried away. Before you know it, you’re setting your heart on things and falling in love with everything you can’t have, or even worse, putting down deposits on things that you may not be able to afford when the time comes round to make the final payments. …You really have to be realistic when putting down deposits, and prepare yourselves, as we’ve learnt that some vendors can require as much as a 50% deposit upfront for a service.
You may need to prepare yourselves to make a few sacrifices. It’s harsh, I know.. especially if you have almost everything planned and a vision for every minor detail of your day. Letting go of things you want might not be very easy.. but, when you see the big picture, you’ll see that none of it even matters.
If you’re the kinda couple that can afford a huge wedding, and that’s how you choose to spend your money, I’d say go for it. Crack on. You’ve worked for it, you bloody deserve it.. but.. when it comes to weddings, I think it’s very easy for people.. brides especially, to become a little bit.. *don’t shoot me..* spoilt. Veruca Salt kinda spoilt.
I think that, a lot of the time, the “bells and whistles” can take away from what the day is actually about. Weddings aren’t a competition, and you shouldn’t try to play the game of “out-doing” your friends, or anything of the sort.. your wedding day should only be about you and your fiancé. Eat the food that YOU want to eat, play the music YOU want to listen to and plan the day how YOU want it to be. Never let anyone else’s expectations alter your plans. With risk of sounding like a bit of a Bridezilla, it really is “your day, your way.” Don’t allow yourself to be dictated to or manipulated, and make sure you’re doing everything for the right reasons.
All that really matters, is that once that paperwork has been signed, you’ll be married. Together forever. You’ll be celebrating your happily ever after in a room full of people that you love, and that love you both dearly. And whatever bells and whistles you choose to have or not to have on your day, come rain or shine, you’ll be walking out of there starting a brand new adventure with the love of your life.
Every wedding is beautiful. Every love story is an adventure, and it’s such a wonderful journey to be a part of. So don’t get caught up feeling bad if you can’t afford to have your dream wedding. At the end of the day, it’s all just materialistic stuff.
…You’re about to be a part of something so much bigger and better than a posh hotel and a fancy dinner… you’re in love. And something as special as that.. it’s totally and completely priceless. So just eat, drink, be married – and have a bloody good time!